Dignity and Meritocracy

Dignity an Meritocracy

Rabbi Dov Gartenberg

My oldest son entered Johns Hopkins University this fall. At the parent orientation in Baltimore we each received a "I am a Proud John's Hopkins Parent" bumbersticker to put on our vehicles. The bumpersticker soon went on the toyota I putter around in, serving as a marker of our familiy's place in the meritocracy.

The day after the bumbersticker found its way on its way onto my car, I went to my other son's IEP, the assessment and goal setting meeting, required for disabled students in the public schools. Mori is severely autisitic. He is in a transition program that aims to impart independent living skills for special needs adolescents. Mori will never live independently, but he may be able to work in a sheltered workshop. At the IEP the teachers proudly told us that Mori successfully cleans busses for the Kent school district each day. He stays on task and cleans the bus wiping windows, clearing debris, and dusting seats. The teachers made him a business card which he could leave in the bus each day. I was so excited for Mori and his accomplishment.

As I returned to my car I realized that I needed a second bumpersticker. "I am a proud Outreach Transition Parent"(that is the name of Mori's program. My son was cleaning buses and I was overjoyed. As I thought about marking Mori's achievement I realized how shame insinuates itself into the mind of a parent of a disabled child. In have raised children of widely different capacities and abilities. It is natural and culturally reinforced to celebrate certain types of merit, but to hide the fact of disability. Would I go around telling people how my son is a superb bus cleaner and another son is a freshman at an elite university? I decided that the right thing to do was just that.

I recently read in the Atlantic monthly a brief review about a book that criticized the dark side of American meritocracy. Meritocracy in America boasts of its ideal of the "equality of opportunity, in which power and the good life are increasingly reserved for the most talented and most able regardless of race, gender, or sexual preference." But meritocracy awards the talented but neglects the ordinary. I would add that our meritocratic culture neglects and leaves behind those who are disabled. The review ends with an insightful quote, "Opportunities to rise are no substitute for a general diffusion of the means of civilization and of the dignity and culture needed by all whether they rise or not. "

Do we extend dignity to all in our culture, our do we only honor those certain types of achievement. American Jewry, more than any community in this country, has embraced the meritocracy. We are immensely successful and have entered the elite colleges in huge, impactful numbers. We are a community that proudly places the names of elite colleges on our cars and celebrates the success of our children in every manner. But what about those who do not achieve in this way? How do we relate to those who do not rise to the top of the meritocracy?

During these High Holidays we have before us the images of the suffering in New Orleans which reminds us of the dangers of when a society fails to extend dignity to others and neglects its needy. The people who suffered greatly after Katrina were the poor, the elderly, and the disabled. I try to imagine what it would have been like to have lived in New Orleans with Mori and worrying about getting him out before the storm. Mori had someone to worry for him. But so many did not, or who had others worrying for them who were powerless to help their loved ones.

Last year I started Shaarei Tikvah-Gates of Hope, special Jewish holiday celebrations for persons with special needs and their families. One of my goals in creating this program was to demonstrate a way our community can confer dignity and love for those in our community who will not succeed in conventional ways, who will not have bumberstickers on their parent's cars, who will clean buses, work in sheltered workshops, live in group homes.

Shaarei Tikvah is a celebration in which dignity and honor is spread around generously and abundantly. It is not only a celebration for families with loved ones dealing with special needs. It is an opportunity for our commnity to celebrate with those who are often hidden and out of sight. There is no need for the hiddeness and shame. I am a proud Shaarei Tikvah parent. Please join us for our Rosh Hashannah service. For information, see below. Click on Directions to the Talaris conference center.

Shaarei Tikvah-Gates of Hope: Rosh Hashannah Service for Persons with Special Needs and Their Families
Tuesday, October 4th, 2005
Service 4:45-5:30 pm
Tashlich and Refreshment 5:30-6:15 pm
Talaris Conference Center – Cedar Room

A community wide non-denominational service for persons with developmental disabilities or mental illness, their families, and supporters in the Jewish community cosponsored by the Jewish Family Service. The service will be led by Rabbi Dov Gartenberg and Cantor Serkin-Poole of Temple B’nai Torah.

Because of space constraints, email reservations are required for this free program. Please respond to rsvp@panimhadashot.com. In the subject line include "ST" and note the number of people in your party.